Isaac Schroeder
xxxxxxx Avenue x
Block xxx, #xx-xxx
Singapore xxxxxx
telephone: xxxxxxxx
email: xxxxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com
10th February 2011
Ms Janet Teo
Manager, Human Resource Office
Ministry of Education, Singapore
1 North Buona Vista Drive
Singapore 138675
Dear Ms Teo,
Physics Teacher, Teaching Career Track
I am enclosing my Résumé in response to your advertisement for the above post which appeared on the Ministry of Education’s official website on 1st February 2011.
I have recently graduated from the National University of Singapore with an Honours degree in Physics and specialisation in Astrophysics. I have been studying full-time for the past four years and was an administrator in the Republic of Singapore Air Force for two years prior to that, with a brief stint as a relief teacher during the period in between.
My time as a relief teacher has exposed me to the rigors of a career in education and provided me with valuable experience in managing large groups of students. Being a student myself for four years at NUS has allowed me to observe a wide plethora of teaching styles and develop my own for the effective teaching of Physics. Service in the RSAF has prepared me for work as a teacher by instilling in me the values of diligence and responsibility while allowing me to hone my skill in being thorough, meticulous and systematic in my work, an important quality for any teacher if students are to be able to follow his or her lessons.
My lifelong interest in academia, encouraged by my mother who is herself a teacher, inspired me to seek a career in education. The contributions teachers make to the betterment of Singapore is a noble one as our future will be shaped by the students of today. I thus cannot imagine any higher calling than passing the torch of knowledge on to the individuals who will be driving Singapore’s progress in but a decade or two, each of them unique and talented in his or her own special way.
From reading your mission statement I am impressed by your determination to advance the standard of education in Singapore and to the provision of opportunities for all children to develop holistically. As such, I find the occupation of a teacher to be profoundly meaningful and rewarding a profession and wish to commit myself to the service of our education system. I sincerely hope that you will look favourably upon my application and look forward to your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Isaac Schroeder
Enclosure
Hi Isaac!
ReplyDeleteYou’ve written a really good application letter! =) I really like the way you explained how your mother influenced you on taking this step of faith towards teaching! For some application letters, writing aspirations sound a little weird, but yours is really apt! I really think that paragraph gave the whole letter an added ‘OMMPH’ to it! Also, that personal touch was just right so it doesn’t sound cliché to me=)! Plus, your English is really really good! You must have scored very well for General Paper (GP) in junior college! Really enjoyed reading this and I’m looking forward to your future posts!
Hi Isaac,
ReplyDeleteNot sure if this is an error, but in paragraph 3, instead of 'an important quality', you may want to change it to 'important qualities'.
Other than that, your application letter looks absolutely perfect. I have much to learn from you! =)
I'm quite suprised Edwin and Jac only knew Issac can write so well this late into the course. Or maybe it is Issac's fault; he needs to write more on a variety of topics!!!! I'm sure we all want to see and read about Issac's thoughts and opinions in writing, or dont anybody agree? For that, we should urge Issac to start writing more posts in his blog or something or anything under the sun?
ReplyDeleteCheers
Hi Isaac! =). This is a very well written letter. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are some areas which I would like to point out to you for you to consider improving. Firstly, in the second paragraph, I propose removing this phrase, “I have been studying full-time for the past four years”. I’m sure that MOE understands that your NUS studies are full time for 4 years, hence this phrase is redundant.
Secondly, I think it is a good idea to give a concrete (7Cs of communication) explanation of how did you develop your own teaching style. Considering that for Physics, most of your lessons are in a lecture style, you would not have much opportunity to practice teaching a class right? Hence I think that the reader would like you to explain how you managed to synthesize your own teaching style despite the lack of teaching opportunities.
Thirdly, I propose removing this phrase, “My lifelong interest in academia”, as academia refers more to a university setting, not to the school setting which MOE places its teachers in. I think that this phrase is more appropriate if you wanted to apply for a professorship in a university. Perhaps you could replace this phrase with something more relevant?
Fourthly, I like your second paragraph as you explain clearly how your work experience supports your job application. I also like the third and fourth paragraphs very much as it shows your passion to be a teacher, which I think is very important in convincing MOE to give you an interview. I’m sure that they only want passionate people to be teachers as this profession affects the lives of young students.
By the way, is your letter one page in length? I'm asking this because I've copied your letter to Word and the text itself fills up most of a page, so I'm not sure if this letter, including the addresses, is too long.
ReplyDeleteYes, the letter is one page in length. The page format had to be adjusted a little though.
ReplyDeleteHi Issac. I would say the language of the letter itself is flawless, at least I could not detect any errors. Once again, I am very impressed by your command of the English language.
ReplyDeleteI seldom see a story of inspiration in an application from online templates but I think you did a great fob integrating it into the later part of the letter.
Even though you may lack some actual working or CCA related experience, the passion and sincerity you show made up for it. If I am one of the staff from the MOE recruitment department, I would say ," why not give him a try."
Your application letter is well-written and it convinces me that you are indeed a right candidate for the job. In your application letter, you have satisfied most of the 7 Cs of communication and made an effort to establish links between your experience and the job requirements. Overall, it is an excellent application letter. Great job Isaac! However, I do have some comments that might help:
ReplyDeleteYou could indent your address to the left. The title could be reduced to “Application for the Position of Physics Teacher.”
The first paragraph is not necessary as the recipient does not need to know of how you heard of the job advertisement. Moreover, it is not advisable to start your application letter with “I am enclosing my Résumé in response…” Rather you should write a sentence that shows why you are interested in this position and organization.
There are too many points in the first paragraph. The first sentence of that paragraph should be a hard-hitting opener. You should not just state the points and plan to elaborate it further later. Instead you should substantiate the point when each point is brought up.
Moreover, you could add other points that make you different from the rest rather than write about being a student yourself.
The last paragraph sums up your application letter well. Overall, this is a well-written application letter that gives me a concise picture of your interest in the job.
Cheers!